The Day the Earth Stood Still

23 12 2008

Squandered potential. It tries to get preachy with the topic of the day, and then they try getting heady with evolution and end up missing the fundamentals by an astronomical unit.

I think everyone understands going into this film that it is a remake respun with an environmental moral – much like the recent remake of The Andromeda Strain (which I thoroughly enjoyed until it got to the end. Gimmie a friggin break). The environmental spin is essentially an analogue of the cold war. Or at least that’s how it comes across. Back in the day of the original film the cold war was the general hysteria du jour and the moral was rooted in humans killing humans. Ostensibly over political squabbles. The remake has a throw back to this in two forms:

1. Klatu’s insight that humans “treat the environment like we treat each other”
and
2. There remains the vestigial military complex shooting first and asking questions later.

So, it would seem that the root issue remains. We are a violent and arrogant species and thus we must be destroyed to save the planet. Unless Klatu changes his mind about us.

And this is when it goes wonky and brings evolution into the fold. The notion presented is that it is at the precipice that you evolve. Klatu claims that his race had to evolve because their sun turned into a Red Giant. This is supposedly justification for the earthling argument that now that Klatu has come to destroy us we are at our own precipice and will therefore evolve.

ENNHHHHHH. Wrong. I award you no points. Do not pass go. Go directly to Hollywood Science Jail.

Evolution doesn’t work that way. A species doesn’t decide to evolve. We don’t have a collective will or capacity to do so if we did. Species evolve at the so-called precipice because the ones unfit for survival under the new environmental pressure (or change) Die. That means their genetic material is wiped out and all that remains are those who were fit and naturally selected for survival.

Klatu’s explanation of his home world was sufficiently vague that he can be given a pass. Maybe on his world the ones who survived were the ones intelligent enough to see it coming, were able to flee the planet, and resulted in his people evolving into a clearly more intelligent version. The movie affords us humans no such ambiguity. We are threatened with extreme violence and the argument is that in the face of it we will change our bad ways. In the end it is still the violent authority that is able to enforce its will. Worse still, the only person making the argument that we can change was already converted! No one else on the entire planet has any idea what transpired, why Klatu was there to begin with, or why he chose to spare us in the end. By the end of the movie all I could think of was Dark Helmet from Spaceballs boasting in dulcet tones: “Foooooled Youuuuuuuuu
Nothing Changed.
The well intentioned remain few.
The ignorant are many.
The strong rule with threat of violence.
And the missing epilogue to this moralistic clusterf* has the United States raping the planet further still for fissile material to wage war against Klatu’s peeps.

Still… be nice to the planet.





Happy New Year!

22 12 2008

Or at least, that’s how I would have it. The winter solstice marks the most practical occasion to celebrate the new year. It marks a time of astronomical significance unlike this utterly arbitrary calendar system we’ve been stuck with for over 2,000 years. The ignorance of ancient societies and the hubris of religion should not be allowed to perpetuate such an inelegant status quo.

Our modern calendar – the Gregorian calendar – was implemented by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. I think most people realize that our year counting begins at the accepted birth-year of Christ. How many people know that the calendar itself was aligned from the Julian system so that Easter would fall at a certain time of the year? To their credit, the First Council of Nicaea used the vernal equinox as their starting point for their arbitrary celebration of the resurrection. They decided that Christ’s resurrection should be celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox – which in the Julian calendar was March 21. How random is that? Their decision was based on the date rather than the actual equinox, and the two drifted apart over the centuries. Pope Gregory’s edicts adjusted the calendar by deleting 10 days so that March 21 lined back up with the equinox. They then justified this mathematically by making the already absurd leap-year algorithm, yet more absurd.

And thus, January 1st falls where it does: 10-11 days after the winter solstice.

So what to do about this? I’d delete 10 more days so that January 1st falls on the winter solstice. I realize this might have cataclysmic effects on our technologically hobbled advanced society. Considering the paranoia over the Y2K problem, this would be a mindf* (just you wait for the next non leap-year in 2100).

And why the solstice and not the equinox? I reckon that comes down to symmetry. The winter solstice is a daylight minimum in the northern hemisphere whereas the equinox is when there are equal hours of daylight and equal hours of night (equinox – get it?). Some might suggest that the Vernal Equinox should be the new year since it is the beginning of spring. While that is more symbolic, it is only slightly less arbitrary than the current system. I suggest the winter solstice because a daylight minimum is a logical starting point. We start with the shortest day and then light oscillates through one full cycle back to the minimum. Then, Happy New Year!

But what about the southern hemisphere you ask? Their daylight minimum is the northern hemisphere’s summer solstice. All I can say about that is we’re assigning a counting system to cyclical natural phenomena. There will be an inherent arbitrariness to it and it just so happens that the northern hemisphere is the cooler place to be. Gotta start somewhere.

I guess I shouldn’t even get into my thoughts on adjusting the prime meridian to being based on the subsolar point at the moment the solar equator crosses the Earth equator at the exact point of the solstice.





Success(ion)

9 12 2008

Undergoing primary production…